This appeal is at its most obvious in multiplayer, where you're at least battling fellow humans struggling with the same control issues rather than the dim-bulb AI opponents. Admittedly, sniffing out this amusement means first learning to tolerate the game's shortcomings, and then working past them to focus on the fact that chasing around in cars and shooting stuff with rockets is always going to have some appeal, even when poorly executed. The tragedy is that, somewhere in this glitchy and clunky stew, there's still a fun game to be found. The music, at least, is pretty good - a self-consciously retro-hip mix of 1970s sounds, from pseudo James Brown dirty funk to grimy Skynyrd-style Southern rock.

At times, you'd swear it was just emulating the PSone code rather than benefiting from a brand new HD engine. The game never looks that good in action. So much so that the screenshots seem downright misleading. Looks like somebody needs to call Injury Lawyers 4 U. Clipping is constant, the camera frequently gets lodged inside solid objects and enemy vehicles judder and shake as they get hung up on the scenery. Faced with such frequent dizzy spells, the graphics engine throws up its hands in sympathy and stops trying. These are the two most immediate problems with this do-over, and it never gets past the sluggish controls or the horrible disorientating effect of the constant physics freak-outs. And I definitely don't recall the controls being this thick and sticky, with even the nippiest sports car unable to perform a basic handbrake turn. I certainly don't remember the cars in the 1998 version behaving like they'd been filled with helium, drifting through the air at strangely slow speeds, launching into a hundred barrel rolls after hitting the slightest ramp, flipping and spinning at every opportunity until you feel like you're stuck in a tumble-drier. The more hopeful answer is that this remake of Vigilante 8, which mixes elements from the first game and its 1999 sequel, Second Offense, isn't actually that good. So why am I so bitterly disappointed now? The obvious answer is because Vigilante 8 was never that good. In fact, I seem to recall loving it even more than Twisted Metal: World Tour, on account of the improved graphics and beefy physics. When I heard that Vigilante 8 was heading to Xbox Live Arcade my heart didn't just skip, it draped itself in ribbons and cavorted gaily through sunny meadows full of heady, nostalgic blooms. The aim of the game was nothing more lofty than to be the last man standing. I'm not imagining it, am I? Ten years ago, Vigilante 8 on the PSone was pretty great, right? It gave you a bunch of souped-up 1970s muscle cars, a selection of kick-ass weapons to bolt on the roof and sides, and let you loose in a variety of custom arenas for all-out war.

Vigilante 8 arcade